Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Beginning at the Beginning

As was promised in the first editorial of this serial attempt to debunk the falsehoods and misinformation put forth by the purported 'novel', 'Ovoid, Illinois', the editorial staff of the Ovoid Elyssium Herald, south-east- central Illinois' last remaining family-owned newspaper, has determined the best and most appropriate place to begin this project is at the beginning. As is logical, this determination of process will inevitably lead to the middle and then onward to the end.

By the time the end is reached, it is hoped that the wicked and banal calumny shall be o'erturned by the gleaning of the fact from the facetious fiction and thusly redeem the reputation of  the Ovoid community as a whole and with judicious use of truth cleanse and absolve the besmirched character of Ovoidian personages historic and contemporary much as the ancient Apelles was redeemed by the revelation of a friend who cited the slander as odious thus saving the noble Apelles from Ptolomy's lethal condemnation.

Such a friend to the citizens of Ovoid are the staff of the Elyssium Herald.

It has further been determined by the editorial staff that this series will not critique the ignoble scribblings as literature as they most assuredly are not and should not be accredited with such a high-flown and undeserved designation.

Furthermore, as the 'devil is in the details' it has been determined that at the risk of being decried as petty, niggling and obsessed with piddling trivialities, the small errors of this slanderous, erroneous narration shall be pointed out at every opportunity of which there are a plethora given the slap-dashed, slipshod, higgledy-piggledy mishmash that the author has tried to foist upon the reading public.

Having more clearly and thoughtfully stated the intentions of our staff vis-a-vis the published opprobrium regretfully entitled 'Ovoid, Illinois', the series will tackle the text of the aforementioned work of slander and, beginning at the beginning will bring to an end this offensive affront to Ovoid residents past and present.

A. Babbage II
editor

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Setting the Record Right

One can only ponder how one might begin.  

As the managing editor and publisher of the Ovoid Elyssium Herald, one of the last family-owed newspapers in the great state of Illinois, the duty to dispel rumor and set the record right falls to your faithful servant of the fourth estate, Aeneas 'Nye' Babbage II.

Seems that someone (who shall remain nameless - at least for the time being) has written a novel with the blandly pedestrian title of 'Ovoid, Illinois' which the 'writer' (to label him  - or her - with a distinction undeserved) has, with bald-faced audacity and wholesale condescension, sub-titled 'Fictionalized Accounts of Inconsequential People' in an effort, one might only assume, to denigrate further the the community on which this hapless fabrication is purportedly based. One might also assume that the person who penned this loosely intertwined collection of stories had hoped, by the use of what might first appear to be a self-deprecating subtitle, to deflect harsh and rightfully expected criticism of the 'novelist's' style or what passes for it. 

Lest one be intrigued by the title or the promise of tawdry gossip regarding the righteous and up-standing folks, past and present, of the REAL Ovoid, Illinois, it must be stated forthwith that the tales told are naught but specious moonshine and preposterous poppycock and a load of old-fashioned baloney. This is calumny, pure and simple; tommyrot, balderdash and hooey meant only to titillate an ignorant readership with a salacious and bowdlerized misrepresentation of actual events both contemporary and historic!

This series of editorials will endeavor to debunk the defamation, deconstruct the dissemblance and dismiss the disparagement which this libelous bit of scribblement has introduced under the thin veil of fiction.


A. Babbage II
editor