Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Ovoid Diaspora - a desparate dispersion of all that is proper and good




It seems the rueful day has arrived. 

The over-long anticipation of something so unremarkable as the sequel to a wholly unremarkable work of calumny and vituperation against the fair people of our fair town has been a tedious one. The tedium of the wait, needless to say,  was tempered by the relief afforded us by simply putting the predicted event out of one's mind; much as one does not dwell on the predicted explosion of  the sun a million years hence or the prognosticated impact of a meteor with our name on it.

However, that tedium - if one were to have actively and consciously awaited the publication of the tedious sequel to 'Ovoid, Illinois' - is as nothing when compared with the tedious, poorly written pot-boiling prose of 'Ovoid Diaspora'. Mr Rapier, the author (if one might be permitted so high-flown a designation for a wordmonger so devoid of literary talent) has quite obviously gained no further skill or craftsmanship as regards the sculpting and honing of narrative literature. Indeed, his scurrilous scribbling falls just short of cacography - evidently, the spell-checker if his word processor functions properly. (Thank Heaven for small favors!) 

As to the substance of the text, it is without pith or promise. To outline the multitude of tangled narrative threads is simple enough if one utilizes Alexander's method of unraveling the Gordian Knot - a quick slashing with a keen, sharp blade. To wit: the young students of Ovoid High School have flown from the homely domesticated nest to pursue the rapacious temptations of a wanton life of licentiousness and promiscuity to which that ilk of anarchists known in vulgar parlance as 'hippies' ascribe in their senseless, mindless rebellion against the God-ordained societal and moral restraints of a sane and prosperous civilization. 

Folderol,  poppycock, stuff and bother; 'Ovoid Diaspora' is, in sum, a wan pamphlet espousing the spurious creed of intemperance, debauchery, willful criminality and solipsistic self-service which will, like blind Samson in the temple, ultimately bring down the Shining City on the Hill and shatter the very foundation of our God-ordained American Way of Life.

Fore-warned is fore-armed; avoid this volume of virulent,  vituperative, opprobrious obloquy and impious propagandistic balderdash advocating Godless, lawless, licentious living.

Rest assured, Dear Reader, that, your editor, Aeneas Virgil Babbage, for one, shall never, ever read, scan nor skim this thin volume. One would as soon pluck the eyes from one's own head.